Cold Mailman
Album: Heavy Hearts
Release Date: 2013
Norway
Ivar Bowitz talks about My Recurring Dream
My Recurring Dream started as a repetitive little riff that I came up with in our rehearsal space almost ten years ago, and I remember further exploring it with other band members in a friend’s summer house that we stayed in while playing a festival in the south of Norway. I think I had scribbled the line «my heart is bursting at the seams» in my notebook, but the rest of the lyrics were sort of squeezed out of the song as the writing progressed. The lyrics were about trying to find love, and the idea of every new person I fell for being like a new dream that I would eventually wake up from.
We recorded a demo, and when going into the studio to record the song we tried to stick pretty close to its sound, in fact, the growly synth bass you hear is from that first demo. Martin (brother, bass player, producer) had just started working in a great studio and was sort of learning how to use it as we recorded the record. This was during a time in which we were… transitioning into a more poppy, synth oriented sound, and we were just learning everything as we went along. Such a fun and exciting trip.
“They were about trying to find love, and the idea of every new person I fell for being like a new dream that I would eventually wake up from.”
On Lyrics
I think we had just started recording, when this guy I knew called André who was fresh out of film school, approached me to see if we had a song he could do a music video for. I gave him the demo to My Recurring Dream, and he immediately had the idea for the video, so he started applying for money – as it would be a pretty expensive video to shoot. In the meantime, he was already working on another idea and asked if we had an existing song he could use for that, so we gave him time is of the essence. He preceded to make an amazing video for that song, which took off and caused all the organizations he had just applied for support from to make sure he got his next project made – and so they gave him the money he needed to shoot My Recurring dream. I think they had nine days of shooting (we were only there for one of them, and you can barely see us in the train car scene) and probably a couple of months of post-production – which is probably unprecedented for a music video to a song by a tiny little indie band from Norway. And we obviously couldn’t be happier about it.
Lyrics: My Recurring Dream
Here it is, it’s my final call
I’m up against some kind of wall
To come to terms with the fact that I’m just an animal
You’ve captured me and confronted me
Put me out of my misery,
Tortured me til’ I gladly agree on anything at all.
My heart oh my heart oh my heart is bursting at the seams,
From all of the beauty discarded in search for love supreme.
And night after night realizing it’s cursed
To live by my recurring dream.
A new dream rudely wakes me and begs me to hold on. Let go.
I’m alive. Here I am, your own prison guard.
The road ahead will be just as hard.
And I am aware that you’ve already run a marathon.
I bullied you and belittled you.
And out of love I have hitherto
Held you under my thumb to discern whose side you’re really on.
My heart oh my heart oh my heart is bursting at the seams,
From all of the beauty discarded in search for love supreme.
And night after night realizing it’s cursed
To live by my recurring dream.
A new dream rudely wakes me and begs me to hold on. Let go.
I’m alive. Broken and burglarized. But you keep beating as long as you can.
Drunk and de-virginized. You still have faith in a master plan.
Trembling and traumatized. But you keep running as fast as you can.
Vulgar and victimized. But you believe in a promised land.
Tracklist: Heavy Hearts
1. “Intervention”
2. “Lighthearted Love”
3. “Future Ex”
4. “Mountaineer’s Foot”
5. “Venetian Blinds”
6. “I Was Wrong”
7. “Returnity”
8. “My Recurring Dream”
9. “Shakedown 1992”
10. “A Heavy Heart”
